What I am thankful for in 2009

I am most thankful for the most wonderful companion of all,Lacey,who has benefited my life in many ways.
I am thankful for finally losing the extra 5 pounds from my pregnancy almost 8 years ago.The times I was never able to get below 105-107.There were times in the past years my weight went as high as 117 pounds.My blood pressure was higher not enough to take meds but enough to be on boarder line of hypertension..I feel younger and when I say that I mean,I feel like I am 15 which is half my age!I never said that before.I am happier and more complete.My seizures have stopped(See prior blogs).I only take 1 Keppra & 1 Lithium instead of twice.I don’t see a psychologist anymore.I am thankful for Jesus and all my cousins & family(on my dad’s side).I am thankful for the talent my family has..

California is still in the plans eventually

Tonight my mom mentioned abt going to ny for a visit.it reminded me that life is about generally for me taking chances and it was by chance that i ran away from tungland and i don’t regret once but i am glad that i did and i am very thankful my now ex velle has helped me with the help of some of his friends.i am grateful for all that they did.however this ex also moved on to another girl but at least he had the guts to tell me about it before finding out through someone else.most men don’t have that in them to tell the truth straight up.my second ex fiance certainly didn’t!But,i have finally set up an ebay selling account for books and i plan on using ebay to sell books with 10% of the income going to word of life each way by check(written by my parents)and eventually i hope to take a cooking class and eventually do acting even part time down in hawaii to help me get a job in california.if i do hunt for a man he must be local meaning on the island of oahu so my pup can approve or disapprove him.Her decision will be the final draw if I deal with a certain man or any man.I plan on taking her with me and continuing to take her to a VCA animal hospital in california.as for children right now it’s not in my interest but i will deal with children one way or another even if it’s sponsoring a child.regardless my plans are still up in the air for the time to move but hope to be out of hi before my parents get senile in their 80’s. i chose ca because it’s closer to my dad and i didn’t feel like it’s worth the pain of traveling from somewhere on the east coast to hi knowing if my dad only had 48 hours god forbid i might not make it back in time.that alone would be a burden on my heart forever.

Lance complains about school

Tonight my brother(Lance) was complaining about school and how this professor doesn’t even give out study guides yet expects each student remember what is in about six chapters per test..My response:I went to school but I knew my limits and how frustrated I was going to get.Yes,I knew there was going to be definite frustration for me because of my disabilities academically which is why my parents never mainstreamed except once that I remember.They claim it never happened but I remember it.
However I don’t regret going to school and as a surprise to many I actually enjoy and love taking care of my loving companion pup Lacey 24/7/365 days a year.I have never once said I don’t want to take care of her.In fact I am so devoted to giving her a life of many fulfilling experiences I am willing and specifically told my parents if she should ever get so ill that you may want to put her down to rest I told them don’t.Let her live till the very life is out of her(her very last breath is taken on her very own but not until then.I want her to die at her home in peace when she’s ready.I know that it’s not for many many years and hope we have many more blessing moments together)

My abortion struggle,November 9 2002

Every year I live I struggle every day to fight past the battle of my abortion.As I know deep in my heart I shall never forgive myself as I know and back then I knew I was taking two precious lives who could have grown up with talents but perhaps not with the best schooling…I took my daughters’ lives over their father.It should’ve been the other way around but I can’t turn back time.If I could redo time I’d do it all over again.Honestly..This coming June my daughter’s would be turning 8(June 16 2003)…but one thing I would love to do is get back in touch with my baby’s father someday and see what happens if God ever unites us that is.Again not on my terms but whatever God has for me in terms of relationships is what I will accept.AND some may think because I follow the Duggar family on television may be the reason why I would let GOD give me X amount of kids but that’s not the case.It is because of the very fact I took two precious lives who could have already gotten to know God and I can never forgive myself for it,is the very reason I find each child special…But again if that is not what God has planned so be it.Bottom line for the rest of my life I will be fighting this battle and I most times will never forget it.Having an abortion is one of the worst battles I have faced more so than a man cheating,verbally abusing,physically abusing,sexual abuse,going through group homes,hospitals,foster homes,being in jail etc etc and the list goes on and on.

I just want to write this letter to my daughters and I don’t mind sharing it with the world.Again this is the reason I let the people of the world able to read this site so they know what I am about.I may not speak it or im to others but if you search my name you will find things you never knew or expected.

Dear Allyssasandrah & Shizuko,
This year is going to make 7 years since I “killed” two precious souls whose love is truly stronger than their daddy.It’s a struggle for me to fight this battle every year and every day because every few months reminds me of something to do with the two of you or being a mom but I know that in spirit I am still,always and forever your mommy.But I am doing good.I have fought a “short” battle of depression with my second ex fiance,Augustus Boadu, from Ghana who resides in the UK.Yet I overcame it.I am working on a Advance Healthcare Directive to limit the amount of healthcare I can recive.I will most likely do the same for a Mental Health Care Advance Directive.This year your maternal great grandpa,Tadao Akamine,died.He’s up in heaven with his two great granddaughters.He never knew you but I wished he did.I am sure he’s met up with you two in heaven though.I know that your souls are still alive…Your great grandpa was 97 years old.It was getting rough but he passed away in peace.I told him my goodbyes that morning and I am at peace with his death but I feel that he’s still with me and will never leave me.I had a wonderful relationship with him.I have a dog now and her name is Lacey.She’s sweet and smart.Wise and a rascal.She helps me get through every day even if it’s a battle she’s right there.I want you to know that mommy is in good hands and I hope with all my heart and soul that I will be with you someday soon.Your grandma is still in real estate and your grandma’s mom is still in a nursing home.I don’t talk to her.I cut off talk with your grandma’s family pretty much.
Loving You Always and forever,
Your Mom
PS.Your dad ,Romaine Thomas,is married to your step mom,Dhee Thomas.I never met her but she sounds like the type of step mom I’d want you to have.

Begging men…

begging men reminds me of dogs begging for table scraps….a dog begging maybe but when a human begs me for something they never get it….

Father of newborn dragged into woods by dog speaks out

A story out of Jessamine County, Ky. is making national headlines after a family pet dragged a newborn baby from his crib into a wooded area behind the family’s home.

The baby, just 5-days-old, is in critical condition at the University of Kentucky Hospital in Lexington.

The dog in question, Dakota, is a Native American Indian dog and is part wolf.  In fact, Dakota’s grandparents were about 90 percent wolf, but her owners said she’s a mild mannered dog who didn’t intend to do any harm.

The parents of Alexander James “AJ” Smith said Dakota was likely playing a game when she dragged the baby from his crib and into the woods behind their home.

The Smith’s said AJ was born three weeks early and they still had a list of things to do and buy to make their home baby-proof, including a gate for their three dogs.

Michael Smith, AJ’s father, said he was getting ready to make a run to the store pick up the baby-proofing items when they realized the dog had taken the baby.

“AJ’s eyes were open, his mouth was bleeding, you could tell he had internal injuries.  He looked better than I thought he would.  I scooped him up, the EMT took over from there,” Michael Smith said.

Dakota is at the Jessamine County animal shelter and they are hoping someone will adopt her and her sister, Nikita, or she will have to be put down.

Michael Smith said the dog will not be allowed back into the family’s home.

Parents of newborn carried from crib by family dog will not face charges

The parents of a Kentucky newborn, who was carried from his crib by the family’s hybrid wolf-dog last month, will not face any charges.  And now they want the dog back.

A.J. Smith of Jessamine County was just days old, when he suffered collapsed lungs, broken bones and multiple fractures.

On Saturday, the Lexington-Herald Leader reported the family now wants the dog, Dakota, to return home.

Attorneys said a court order will be required to make that happen.  Dakota has been staying at a shelter.

A dancing dog!

No treats from Obama

Dogs can detect cancer by the smell of breath

They’ve got funny names for cancer researchers, like Captain Jennings and Tibbs. They’re also a little furry and have a tendency to lick their white-coated colleagues. But these canine lab assistants may one day make it possible to detect cancers early enough to keep them from becoming fatal.

The Pine Street Foundation, a cancer education and research center in San Anselmo, Calif., is hoping one day to train these dogs to sniff out, literally, early-stage ovarian cancer—a disease that kills two-thirds of the 22,000 women diagnosed with it each year, according to the American Cancer Society, because it is often caught only after it has spread beyond the ovaries.

In 2006 the foundation published a study showing it was possible to train dogs to identify, based on breath samples,which patients had lung and breast cancer.

Now the organization is recruiting ovarian cancer patients and dogs for a new study.

Nicholas Broffman, executive director of the foundation, says the dogs are helping to answer an important question that may one day lead to earlier detection of diseases like ovarian and pancreatic cancers, which are often caught only in very late stages: Does cancer have a smell?

Does cancer have a smell?
“Is there something about the breath of people with cancer that is different in people who do not have cancer?” Broffman wants to know. “Our goal is to identify what collection of molecules in the breath are unique to ovarian cancer, pancreatic cancer, and lung cancer, and develop a test to find those.” Using animals to detect disease is not new, and this line of research is not as out there as it may sound.

Diabetes is detectable, too
Dogs, which have been used for decades as aides for the blind or hearing impaired and as companions for the infirm, have also taken new roles in alerting epileptics to impending seizures and diabetics to low blood sugar.

A few dozen miles east of the Pine Street Foundation, in Concord, Calif., Mark Ruefenacht, who runs dogs4diabetics says the link between a dog’s smell and its ability to detect hypoglycemia is well-established. He’s been training dogs for 10 years to pick up the scent of diabetics on the verge of hypoglycemia.

“We don’t know the complete science here, but when blood sugar starts to drop, the body starts to kick out chemicals in the breath, sweat, whatever,” Ruefenacht says. “Those chemicals indicate a change. The dogs can pick that up. Low blood sugar has a smell; high blood sugar has a smell; even the rapid change in blood sugar has a smell.”

In diabetics, the presence of  ketones—substances produced by the body as it breaks down fat for energy—can be smelled in urine and on the breath when blood sugars are high. Dogs, Ruefenacht says, can pick up on other smells that humans can’t when glucose levels drop.

These chemical scents are what scientists at the Pine Street Foundation and the University of Maine, which is helping in the ovarian cancer study, hope to identify for ovarian cancer. The research is still in its infancy, but researchers are clearly excited about the potential—and they’re not alone.

In a case study published in The Irish Journal of Medical Sciences last year, researchers claimed that a family pet had recognized hypoglycemia in an elderly man who had never been diagnosed with diabetes.

“Dogs have a sense of smell far superior to humans,” says study coauthor Mortimer O’Connor, MD, of Victory University Hospital in Cork, Ireland. Smell is just one way dogs may detect a condition change like low blood sugar, O’Connor says; he also suggests that they may taste a difference on a person’s skin or sense changes in the electric or magnetic energy the body emits.

Looking toward the future
Scientists may be years from identifying the specific biomarkers that distinguish the breath of people with cancer from those without, cautions Broffman—and years more from being able to distinguish one type of cancer, such as ovarian, from another.

Even further in the future: Developing a mechanical device that can sense those biomarkers when someone breathes into it. “It would be great to have a Breathalyzer-type machine that could do this,” Broffman says. “Our goal is to identify what collection of molecules are unique to ovarian cancer, pancreatic cancer, or lung cancer, and can we develop a test to find those. Scientifically, this is very difficult.”

That’s because this wouldn’t require just detecting one molecule—which is difficult enough—but a range of molecules, Broffman says. “Together, these molecules smell like cancer. When we smell a rose, we’re not smelling individual rose molecules, but our brain puts all the molecules together and says, ‘OK, that’s a rose.’”

For a computer to accomplish that level of pattern recognition, Broffman says, the patterns have to be extremely well-defined. “This is the challenge, scientifically. This may why we never replace dogs. Maybe dogs will be always be better at this.”

Dogs can detect scents as small as one part per trillion—or the equivalent of a drop of ink in an Olympic-sized swimming pool, Broffman says. “No scent detection device on the planet that can come close to that.”

So for early detection of such diseases, scientists’ best bet for now has four legs and a tail—and may one day be known as the cancer patient’s best friend.